Ladies Here’s How You Get Caught Up…Again
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I love women. I really do. Women are so optimistic and all about love. Love? They are all about it. (According to Jay-Z, I may have just completed a quintuple entendre with those sentences.)
So of course, I’m NEVER surprised when some woman I know is pissed with her boyfriend or potential boyfriend and hits me up to tell me, “out of the blue dude is acting right…what should I do?” By the way, getting caught up again refers to the fact that just 30 mintues prior you were talking about your guy won’t act right or do what he says he’s going to do. Now I’m not going to focus on the “what should you do” part. Mostly because I have no idea. But what I do know is how you women keep getting caught up. I’d almost think I was about to give away some kind of trade secret but really, all you women will keep falling for it over and over again anyway, so what difference does it make?
Shots.Fired.
(For the record, we all get caught up. I’m aware of this. Carl Thomas even made a whole career around this. But women will go against every form of conventional wisdom and find a reason to “give love a chance”. I don’t think insanity is too bold a claim here. Oh wait, did I say that outloud?)
So here’s are some ways that us menfolks get you all caught up again:
1) Show up wearing your favorite cologne and sweater/outfit
I don’t think that men wear outfits but I couldn’t think of a better identifier. For some reason, women just love them a smellin’ good ninja. Especially if she picked out the smell-good in the first place. No matter how pissed you women are, if we show up out of the blue with your favorite cologne on and your favorite shirt, and underneath it all got sweat runnin’ all over our booooooooooooooooodies, no matter how mad you are (at whatever we did) you’ll find a way to get close to us. Which means we will hit. Which means you will get caught back up…if…only for one niiiiiiiiiiiiight.
2) Sleep with you
I suppose good d*ck really is hard to find because for some odd reason, women will give up the love musket even if they’re confused about the current situation and where it’s going. Perhaps the belief is if she gives a little, he’ll give a little. And I’m sure it works for a few minutes, but ladies, word of advice: you cannot f*ck a man into a relationship. You can, however, f*ck us to sleep which for us is generally a better alternative.
3) Do something really sweet
Women love them some gifts. Especially out of the blue gifts. Nothing confuses a woman more than a really nice gift after she’s decided to leave a dude alone. They can’t figure out what it means. Does it mean that he does care? Did he just open back up the lines of communication so that you can get that party started? Did you ever think that you would be this rich? Did you ever think that you would have these hits? The more she’s wondering about that gift, the more she’s making excuses for why her man has changed. Poor misguided boobowner.
(By the way, women are NOTORIOUS over-analyzers which means that even if a dude doesn’t say ANYTHING, the woman will be constructing an entire conversation that she thinks SHOULD happen in her head.)
4) Open up and become vulnerable
Women LOVE a vulnerable man. Not a p*ssy. But a man not afraid to share his feelings. And nothing catches a chick up more than sharing feelings while she’s ready to leave. It’s even better if we use deep words, like “muse” and “soulmates” and “fallacy of reality”. Deep chicks LOVE to get roped back in poetically.
5) Simply, show up and give her a hug
One day I was just out hugging chicks because I was bored. Now I can’t get rid of any of them .F*ckin’ roaches. One hug and an upset woman will still be mad, but she’ll find solace and a chick who finds solace will find a reason to get lost in her dude again…and will sleep with him.
6) Be the man she knows we can be
Do that for 2 hours and 98 percent of most women are goners for 2 solid weeks.
So good folks, let’s help our community out. In what other ways do women keep getting caught up? Let’s do some community service and help our sisters out.
How do women keep getting caught up?